A Path Through

It dawned on me that, as much as this whole blog site is really to share my experience (and be a bit of personal therapy) through this cancer journey, there may be some who stumble upon all of this and who have no idea who I am. So, as much as my parents told me not to talk to strangers, I feel that ship has sailed so let’s just throw open the doors on my life!

As I have mentioned in earlier posts, I am a 51 years old and as per one of the doctors I have recent met with I am still very young. I liked him as soon as I met him as he is clearly brilliant and VERY wise.

I have been married to my husband for almost 17 years. Very simply, he is the love of my life, my soulmate and without him by my side, I feel lost. He completes me in every way despite the fact that we are actually polar opposites (the list is LONG and includes music, broccoli, movie choices, favorite meal of the day, and WHO in this world is not a fan of ICE CREAM???).

Together, we are the parents to two kids. Our son (13) is the kind of kid who tends to keep his thoughts and his worries to himself unless you are within his circle of trust. He will take on the on the weight of the world if you allow him to so we are always aware of the need to remind him that he is a kid. He is fiercely protective of his family (yup, only HE can beat up on his little sister) and he has a wicked sense of humor. He is an avid gamer and seems to find great humor in my inability to make it through the first level of any game as my little guy does not hop or jump or shoot or do ANYTHING. My relationship with him is a close one, however this comes from many years of supporting him through his own life challenges.

My baby girl (11 going on 22) is a free spirit with a gift for drama and artistic flare. Her emotion and passion for life is something that makes her a powerhouse that will let nothing stand in her way. I have been told that she has a stubborn streak that matches someone else in our household, however I have told my husband that he is confusing stubborn with the natural born talent of always being correct (it is an easy mistake to make). She is a girl that can spark fits of laughter with a simple comment or action and when she laughs with you, the moment is pure gold. I adore her. These three people are my world.

Now as if three were not gift enough, I can double that number with my dad, sister, and brother. There is nothing we cannot face if we are standing together, and we have put that to the test as we have dealt with life, illness and loss. It has been said that you can’t pick your family, but if you could, mine would not change. None of us are perfect, but that is actually what makes it so wonderful, and when you have someone that can bring you to the point of tears (and other things) while laughing, you do not look for the receipt to exchange them!

The theme of being blessed by amazing people in my life continues through aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. Each person is just as wonderful as the next.

As far as what I do for a living, I work with an AMAZING team of people with the provincial government. Our primary focus is health care and I love what I do, the people, the work, and the fact that there is not a day that goes by that I do not feel that I was a part (even an itty bitty part) of making a difference in someone’s life. My role is focused on operational efficiency and leadership and it challenges me each day to want to BE better, to want to DO better. However, I also need to say that this is more than just work to me, these people are my work family. As I have started to share my situation with them, I have been overwhelmed by their reactions, the emotion, the support. I am so incredibly blessed to have these people in my life.

I love to cook, travel, and funny movies. I am a Christmas FREAK as I believe that for a short period of time the world is a little more beautiful and people are a little more kind to each other (until December 26th of course). When stressed, Lego is my “go to”. Now, we are not just talking any type of Lego, we are speaking of the “4 million pieces remortgage your home for each set” kind of Lego that my kids are not allowed to touch. My favorite season is fall, I love ice cream, and do not start me talking about my love for Ryan Reynolds (insert swoon here). Oddly, as I read back through it is starting to read a bit like a dating profile and I suddenly feel as if I need to end with details like I enjoy long walks on the beach, candle light dinners, and my sign is Gemini.

In reading though the above, it is clear that I value laughter. Laughter has the ability to lighten the emotional toll of life. Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and place for a good laugh and it is not while attending Aunt Doris’s funeral. However, the ability to take the weight off your shoulders with a smile or a giggle can be life changing and I try each and every day…to laugh. Very honestly, it is tough for me to laugh right now, things are scary and unknown. However, since this all started, there has not been a day that I have not found humor and a giggle, even if it has meant laughing through tears.

So that is me or at least a small glimpse into who I am. A person who is surrounded by love, laughter, and a lot of Lego, who is suddenly dealing with having breast cancer and all the fear that comes with it…..and just trying to find a path through.