A Path Through

This week a dear friend lost a family member to cancer and it was a reminder that with every positive step on the path for some, the path ends way to soon for others.

Each week, as I go through chemo or am seeing one of my many incredible medical team members at the Cancer Center, I am witness to the impacts of cancer. I see individuals who are walking their own cancer journey and it is clear that for some, the path will not end with them winning their battle. Rather, this vial disease will win despite these brave people giving it all they can. They are tired, scarred, in pain, but fighting on with every ounce of energy they can muster. These people are truly cancer warriors.

It is hard to find anyone in your life circle that has not been touched by cancer in some way. Either personally dealing with it or having a friend or family member who has battled it with either a positive or tragic outcome. The stories of survivors being cancer free for years can buoy you with positive energy and just as quickly a story of someone taken too soon can bring a tear to your eye. There is no rhyme or reason to the wins and losses, cancer just doesn’t work that way.

Personally, some of the energy I get from my current fight comes from those who have walked this path ahead of me, and their journey has ended too soon. There are two people specifically, Ilse and Anthony that give me the energy to put one foot in front of the other on some days. There are no words to express everything these people were to so many, including me. They lived life as it was meant to be lived, challenging themselves not to settle, but to be the best they could be. They inspired me in so many ways to live life a little differently, to be better and to reach for what matters. Both of them battled cancer with all they could, however there was a point where they could fight no longer. Cancer did not stop to consider that they had families and were wonderful people who had so much more to do in life, because well…cancer doesn’t care. For me, I want to make them proud, to fight as heroically as they did, to be as strong as they were. They challenged me to be better when they were with us, and there is no way I will let them down now.

I am very aware that my journey is one that has a path that should lead to a positive outcome. I am also aware that I will live with the understanding that cancer may return and a new battle may be required. However the important word is LIVE. I have not had to hear the word terminal, or sit in chemo knowing they are giving me treatment to sustain my life a little longer, and I have not had to have the discussion as to whether we end treatment all together. Am I having a great time on my path? Nope, but when I consider all that I just mentioned, my path is a pretty good one at the moment. It is tough, but I can do this….because of all that have been down the path ahead of me….who inspire me….who encourage me.

My heart breaks for my friend as the loss is a significant one, and as much as the reality of how the battle would end was known, it does not soften the good bye. However, I will say that I have one more person who I will be thinking of as a walk the path through. Rest in peace Lou, you were a true cancer warrior.