A Path Through

So remember that post I did just a few weeks ago…you know about being done with chemo?

Well, it appears that I was slightly over confident about having to deal with the impacts of chemo and I annoyed the “chemo gods”.  Yes, they have provided me with a reminder of the power they have even after treatment has been completed.  

What pray tell has happened? Oh I can’t wait to tell you. (Disclaimer – if you get queasy easily OR are eating as you are reading this….you may want to stop reading…seriously….stop).

As some of you may recall, I have written about the many side effects I have had with my chemo path and the loss of feeling in my hands and feet was a fairly significant one.  This side effect was related to the medication associated with the first round of chemo that had noted neurological impacts. 

When I started the second round of chemo, it was expected that the lost feeling would slowly return and indeed this started to happen.  Over a few weeks I started to see the feeling in my fingers slowly return but the toes were not showing much interest in joining in.  About four weeks ago, I could actually say that my fingers were almost back to full feeling and finally my toes were slowly showing signs of some improvement.    

Sounds positive right?  Well, remember those “chemo gods” as here comes the gory reality of a chemo side effect.  I have now started to loose the nails on my fingers and toes. 

What a ball of fun right?  Oh wait…it gets better.  It is not just a case of the nails simply falling off, no that would be easy.  Instead the nail lifts off allowing for the introduction of germs which lead to…yes you guessed it…infection!  Then as I deal with the infection and all that comes with it and get things settled down, the nail decides to remain detached from most of the nail bed while slowly departing. 

To add to this ever so wonderful situation, the nails are doing this one at a time. Is it painful?  Yes….and for someone who has no feeling in their feet…that is saying something!

As I started to deal with all of this happening I reached out to those in my support groups for breast cancer patients and was overwhelmed by the number of people who have had to deal this situation as well.  The sheer numbers made it even more surprising to me that this was not something identified as a potential side effect to watch for or manage when I started chemo.  Believe me, there was a fairly extensive list and I am certain that if they had mentioned your nails dropping off I would have asked them to back up and explain that a bit more!

So, here is the question I am expecting is on many of your minds…Why am I sharing this relatively gross situation…..(and it IS gross)?  Well, when I started this blog my goal was to not only share my journey, but also hopefully share a bit of knowledge gained along the way.  This situation alone has been a big learning for me (I can tell you the benefits of soaking in salt baths!). Knowing that there will be others who will deal with this, I felt that why I am currently unable to be the spokesperson for nail polish and mani/pedi’s at the moment would be worth sharing.  Reality is, I am not the only person who will go through this and if sharing what is happening is helpful to even one person who is on the same path or supporting someone who is….then this is all worth it.

I had thought that I was done on my chemo path, but it does not appear that this is the case just yet.  However, I know that that there is just a short way to go and as much as I will be walking it a bit gingerly with tender hands, it is a journey that I will complete and no annoyed “chemo god” will change that.